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Mila and Paul, y.o.
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Live Live Sex Chat rooms Mila and Paul
Date: October 10, 2022
Mila and Paul, y.o.
Location:
Room subject:
To Start live! video press there
I mean…you obviously don't love your wife as much as you say if you can betray her so easily.
Hmmm?! AP could have informed her about your cheating then conforted her with his pi-nis?! XD
True that
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Sure. Struggling to narrow it down/sum it up and try to give enough information that also notes his perspective.
Accusation: I am intentionally and diabolically being loud to mess up a movie him and our kids are watching. Reality: This is not at all the kind of mother or wife that he knows me to be. I was cleaning the kitchen after dinner, my mind was busy on something else, and I was rolling up his chip bag (loud) when he said this. It truly wasn’t courteous of me at all and I didn’t even realize. But it couldn’t be cleared up or remedied that I was simply stupidly oblivious, oops, and that I could do the kitchen after the movie instead. To my shock and confusion, he still kept insisting and stating over and over as factual that I was clearly making this noise on purpose to wreck their movie. The movie is interrupted at this point while the kids sit there hearing this be repeated by him as absolute fact.
Accusation: I never want to have people over, he isn’t allowed to have people over, and anytime he tries I can’t handle it. Reality: We just together invited two couples over last weekend. We’ve had people over many times including recently. Last night, he suddenly at 5pm invited our friends, a family of 5 people, to come stay overnight a few nights because it’s going to rain this week and they could miss work. He hadn’t even mentioned this to me before making this phone call and extending this invitation, and it was already 5pm when this was suddenly happening. From his POV he said he saw our house was clean and thought it would be fine, but I did try to adjust this plan with him right away. The dinner I was making wouldn’t come close to being enough for both our families, it was Xmas day so takeout in our small town wasn’t an option to feed everyone, and it would be impossible to have spare bedding for 5 people laundered in time (we have a teeny apartment sized washer/dryer). I did want to still have plans with this family, so I said what about if they come tomorrow instead? He decided that no, he didn’t want to plan anything with me for them coming anymore because of the above accusation. Which didn’t match up to reality or my disposition at all.
Accusation: I never let him relax, or give him a break, I always make him go play outside with the kids or make him do things he doesn’t want to do. Reality: There WAS truth to this and I did need to make adjustments to my thinking. On the weekends after a full week of working hard, he would come home ready to just do nothing. Meanwhile, the kids were dying to have time with him, and there would be things that needed his attention. So I would see him laying on his phone all day and Id be frustrated suggesting we go do something all together or he spend time with the kids. Or that the dresser drawer was still broken, or the gate needed fixed, things like that that I would bug him about. We both had lots of frustration from this, but eventually he actually talked to me about it and explained his perspective on the situation. And I realized I needed to make adjustments in how I addressed all those things. It was essentially resolved at that point, I finally understood him. With that came a natural mindset change, and the frustration melted away. I did make changes and stop having a list of weekend expectations for him, started paying attention more to all that he does already do each week that were going unnoticed by me, and gained an appreciation for the down-time he physically and mentally did truly need. We found our balance with it. And it seemed to be a non-issue anymore long-term, we understood each other in both directions, and there was a newfound respect for each others perspectives and needs.
…Here’s the issue. Probably a year or so after this was resolved and no longer happening, he brought it up accusing me of this again as if it was not only current which was confusing enough, but also constant. This scenario was completely unrelated to the topic at hand that day and felt very random. For many months, my reaction to seeing him getting needed downtime would be love and support…maybe making him breakfast, telling the kids to let him rest and he’d be out in a bit to hang out, etc. Long-term at that point, I had been placing genuine value on that downtime for him and I was able to find ways to support. But suddenly it was a confusing rewind as if this was never resolved and that I was being this person to him still “all the time” and never giving him a break. It floored me and nothing I pointed out to him about current events would change his mind or convince him otherwise. I was back in that box again.
Accusation: In scenarios like these, any of my attempts to clear something up are me lying to him, and trying to manipulate him. Reality: This is I think where the impenetrable wall comes in where what he’s decided will not change and is absolute fact in his mind regardless of any evidence he has before him that proves otherwise. Honesty is very important to me even in the little things. He’s known me for 13 years to not be a liar. Nothing has occurred for me to even lose that trust. I don’t even know how I can prove to him otherwise when I already am just not someone who lies or even exaggerates. This is something that very specifically is opposite to who I am as a person. In terms of manipulation, I don’t even feel capable of manipulating him. That isn’t how my brain even works. I wouldn’t even want any actions of his to be coming from me manipulating him. I would hate that, it would make things not feel genuine or real.
These beliefs that seem sudden and confusing and guarded by him feel so extreme in the context of who he otherwise knows me to be day to day. I hope all of that makes sense, I’m struggling to explain it when it doesn’t make sense to me.
Run. You are in DANGER. This guy is an abuser and it will only get WORSE.
Trust me from experience. He will stay not giving a damn about you until his dying breath. Prioritize you and surround yourself with your support system. Let his mom handle her son.
So, your idiot boyfriend, who was already on track to lose his licence, asked to borrow your Miata and go hooning in the *snow*, inevitably stacked it, did a runner from the scene, and can't pay you back for the damage he caused?
I'm not going to lie. Part of me thinks that you're paying the dumbass tax for every letting him take it.
BUT – he has to make it right. Personally, I couldn't see myself staying with an irresponsible douche who can't keep a licence through his hooning and leaves the scene of an accident. Much less one who trashes my car and then is like “too bad, I can give you pocket change and help you buy a new one”.
Dump him, sue him. It's what's right.
And how was she supposed to know that from what's been shared here?
She's not a mind reader. He's jerking her around because of his own embarrassment.
I'm pessimistic like the rest of the folks here. The only path toward reconciliation, and tell her that her unwillingness to do any of the following would be a deal breaker, would be for her to quit her job (because the coworker is there), go no contact with kissy boy, and stop playing WoW (or at least transfer servers and change her user name). That would be a starting point. Then it would be individual counseling for both of you followed at some point with couples counseling. That's a long, fucking, rocky road, but some couples have made it. If I were a betting man I would say that she won't want to do one or more of those things, and you should escort her to the sidewalk immediately.
And I need to make a subtle distinction. Those conditions do not represent you issuing her an ultimatum. Instead, she needs to know that taking those actions are the only way that you will have enough peace of mind to start rebuilding trust in her.
Just give me a reason to be ok with it lol
Why can't you move out?