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Salome-As Public Chat Channel
Date: February 9, 2023
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You need to kick him out. Dead weight will drag you down and away from countless opportunities. Don’t feel obligated to stick with a loser just because you’ve been sticking with a loser for five years.
I “love” it when people are like “I know this was an invasion of privacy and completely breaking the trust in our relationship but I just couldn’t stop myself”
And then proceed to get upset at their partner.
Look, it doesn’t matter what you find out when you read a private conversation.. you’re admitting that you don’t have the self control to put your partners privacy and trust above you’re own selfish needs..
Whatever you find out at that point is mute or at best equally just as bad as what you did.. you even recognized you did somthing wrong but then come on here to act like he’s in the wrong..
You’re never going to have a good relationship with this type of foundation.
This sounds like she’s stringing you along.
I doubt she’s gonna stop talking to him as he sounds like he’s her actual boyfriend and you seem to be the guy on the side.
I’d leave her alone and find someone who’s actually available.
I’m sorry, but “kind of agree that he doesn’t care about boundaries”? Kind of?! Also, it’s not even the boundary – he doesn’t care about YOU. He raped you and doesn’t care how you feel and seems to continue to do things that hurt you.
Sit down with him and delete those pictures. Then break up with him bc you can do SO much better.
Every two days? Seriously? Its clear he has nowhere near moved on with his ex. Its a bad idea to marry this incomplete man. He is not a real man, because he is choosing n settling for second choice (marrying you) rather than one he truly loves (his ex). So he is lying to himself, not a man of true conviction. The marriage wont be a happy one if it happened.
I suggest enjoy it while it lasted. Because he is man of your dreams, clearly he is your first choice. But you need to decide whether you want to put up with a substandard husband whose heart, dont fully belong to you.
The best acid test is to broke off with him. And see if he realize that you are the one he loves the most, or he is actually happier n feeling relieved after you are gone, as the one he love the most is still the ex. I say, only proceed to marriage if its the former case (after broke off, he realize you are the one he lovex the most and cant and dont want to lose you). Give it some time after break up to let the discovery process happen to see which one. Make sure he doesnt want you back purely for ego reasons (how dare she broke off with me, i will get her back so i can dump her instead).
Yep, that is quite alarming.
This should have really been a no issue type of situation. But he made something out of nothing.
Also, he considers his POV to be more valuable than yours. Like he knows everything and you're just the fool.
Not sure if this is a one-off situation… but if you started to look at this behaviour elsewhere in your relationship. I would bet that you have been missing a lot of mistreatment over the years.
Might even be chalk it up to:
Oh, that is just how relationships are! I'll ignore this issue and sweep it under the rug.
When he gets going, just say something like “I can listen to your gripes for about five minutes. Is that okay?” This won't happen overnight so you'll have to remind him over and over, just be sure your voice is not angry or sarcastic.
It's okay to tell him you need some pleasant time to just unwind from your day.
If he continues complaining too much, suggest he journal instead, or take his problems to his therapy. After all, he's treating you like a therapist – yet you are not one. Remind him of that!
Honestly, thank you for this comment. I am so happy that you and your wife manged to work things out! Thank you for tge advice, I really appreciate it !