Not making excuse for him here., but my husband will throw himself more into games than normal when he is stressed or depressed. Did something happen a month ago that turned him towards games to cope? And have you tried just sitting him down and asking him how he is and what he needs from you to be able to give you what you want?
I am very similar situation as your father. I didn’t agree with my only daughter’s choice for her husband and father of her child. This is how i handle it. I just let my wife (who is a grown-ass woman) keep up with our daughter and grandkid. We normally got to mutual area or location so my wife and my adult sons can see the child. I, normally stay in the hotel because they online in a different state. The only reason i travel with my wife on these trips because she doesn’t like to go alone. Plus, i think she and my daughter is trying to get me like him. It is a 7 years difference in age and i think he is lazy and she can do better. But she is an adult and we raise her the best way we could. I still send my grandkid gift on his birthday but have a very little contact with my daughter and her hubby. I would tell her to stay at home with her family. Because i believe she could let the man she married be alone for any holidays. We have so much technologies these days… FaceTime is a good thing too… i know many might disagree with my logic or ways. This is how i see it… We raised her and her brother. It is our time to travel not worry about babies who are not ours. Yes, it is my grandkid but it is the responsibility of my daughter and her husband. I am good with no one coming over for the holidays. That’s gives my wife and i more time to travel around the world. My wife was a SAHM for over 30 years. While i worked for over 35 years in healthcare field. My wife deserves sometime to see the world without children and enjoy our lives. I am not going to worry about a grandkid who has parents. Of course, my wife sees it differently that what marriage is all about compromising…So, we visit our adult kids and their kids yearly….
No matter what you choose to do… just know that you have more value than the ability to reproduce! You are your own person. You are Smart, Kind, Strong and Important to others.
I recommend personal counseling at minimum. Then either marriage therapy or divorce. This isn't healthy. Something has to change but only you can decide for yourself how.
My heart really goes out to you. What a tough decision to have to make. I feel like I would have to end the relationship too. $250,000 in loans at that interest rate, with a current salary of 30k? And then she’s going back, to add on more debt? And her salary after that will be 65-125k? That’s absolute insanity.
OP, I know you said you've discussed this with him in the past. If you're not comfortable breaking up just yet you could give him an ultimatum. I hate ultimatums in relationships but at this point it seems necessary. Tell him that his weaponized incompetence is no longer an option in this relationship. Set clear boundaries about this, clear expectations, clear consequences and say these new boundaries start immediately and then stick to it all. Explain you will no longer be his mommy for him and if he can't handle taking care of himself like the adult he is supposed to be now he will end up taking care of himself anyway when you leave him. I can't stand when men do this it is so utterly exhausting.
Anything she does that would give her the same experience offline is fair game.
So video, audio, text, is fine.
Communicating is not.
I don't differentiate between platform. You can contact creators on pornhub as well. I'll trust her not to until I have a reason not to.
Not making excuse for him here., but my husband will throw himself more into games than normal when he is stressed or depressed. Did something happen a month ago that turned him towards games to cope? And have you tried just sitting him down and asking him how he is and what he needs from you to be able to give you what you want?
I am very similar situation as your father. I didn’t agree with my only daughter’s choice for her husband and father of her child. This is how i handle it. I just let my wife (who is a grown-ass woman) keep up with our daughter and grandkid. We normally got to mutual area or location so my wife and my adult sons can see the child. I, normally stay in the hotel because they online in a different state. The only reason i travel with my wife on these trips because she doesn’t like to go alone. Plus, i think she and my daughter is trying to get me like him. It is a 7 years difference in age and i think he is lazy and she can do better. But she is an adult and we raise her the best way we could. I still send my grandkid gift on his birthday but have a very little contact with my daughter and her hubby. I would tell her to stay at home with her family. Because i believe she could let the man she married be alone for any holidays. We have so much technologies these days… FaceTime is a good thing too… i know many might disagree with my logic or ways. This is how i see it… We raised her and her brother. It is our time to travel not worry about babies who are not ours. Yes, it is my grandkid but it is the responsibility of my daughter and her husband. I am good with no one coming over for the holidays. That’s gives my wife and i more time to travel around the world. My wife was a SAHM for over 30 years. While i worked for over 35 years in healthcare field. My wife deserves sometime to see the world without children and enjoy our lives. I am not going to worry about a grandkid who has parents. Of course, my wife sees it differently that what marriage is all about compromising…So, we visit our adult kids and their kids yearly….
Lol is OP Nick Cannon?
No matter what you choose to do… just know that you have more value than the ability to reproduce! You are your own person. You are Smart, Kind, Strong and Important to others.
I recommend personal counseling at minimum. Then either marriage therapy or divorce. This isn't healthy. Something has to change but only you can decide for yourself how.
My heart really goes out to you. What a tough decision to have to make. I feel like I would have to end the relationship too. $250,000 in loans at that interest rate, with a current salary of 30k? And then she’s going back, to add on more debt? And her salary after that will be 65-125k? That’s absolute insanity.
Thank you for this comment, it was very helpful to me. And I appreciate the kind words
OP, I know you said you've discussed this with him in the past. If you're not comfortable breaking up just yet you could give him an ultimatum. I hate ultimatums in relationships but at this point it seems necessary. Tell him that his weaponized incompetence is no longer an option in this relationship. Set clear boundaries about this, clear expectations, clear consequences and say these new boundaries start immediately and then stick to it all. Explain you will no longer be his mommy for him and if he can't handle taking care of himself like the adult he is supposed to be now he will end up taking care of himself anyway when you leave him. I can't stand when men do this it is so utterly exhausting.