Yes people do change for the better. I grew up in the age where nearly everyone in my town used racist epitaphs like they breathe air. I used them as they seemed to be the normal thing to do as everyone else was using them. Then I found out about racism and it ended right there.
How you will deal with his family may be tough, and hopefully he'll not allow their ignorance and hatred to cause you problems.
This friend of hers is sus. Going over to some other guys place when you two are having relationship issues… may possibly be innocent, sure, but it's also exactly what people who cheat do.
Her behavior isn't suitable for public anyway. Will it be a child-free wedding or not? I know a lot of people prefer to have destination weddings be child-free so that may be a reason for her not to come anyway as a single mother. Regardless, not wanting to deal with the embarrassment and stress of having your SIL meltdown and have zero control over herself means she has no business at a wedding anyway.
Someone is going to be way more insightful than me and will have better advice for your specific situation, but I just want to ask one question: what exactly is the plan with hiding him from your family? It's your own future you're getting in the way of to protect your parents from your reality, which seems unfair to you and him really.
When I mean by “opening up”, I mean to communicate with me about his thoughts and feelings. If he’s been feeling down I want him to communicate that with me, or about his days. He usually replied back with one word answers or maybe a couple words. He doesn’t talk about his feelings or thoughts a lot and I’ve been really patient, I haven’t nagged for an answer, I’ve been really affectionate to him, and listening to him talk about work or games.
How tf can you say this out of a private note that he wrote in what was clearly a moment of self analysis? Don't never ever have the slightest negative thought about who you care about? This does not mean that you wouldn't literally die for them.
If you take somebody's toughts out of context you will get hurt at some point.
The context is the point. The guy wrote the note for himself, somebody who knows the context perfectly, who can understand the true meaning of each word.
Actually the existence of such note is a clear sign of being mature, as he is dealing with everything he feels, with the perspective of spending the rest of his life with OP.
Being immature would be avoiding his own toughts and eventually having to face them in the future.
Idk for the first thing, and I just checked and she was in the hotel room on her laptop. Idk why they're doing this, and my sister was their first choice, but she couldn't get off work, so she couldn't go. I hope not, because her friends weren't really my type even before this whole framing thing.
I can’t imagine being in a situation where I’m picking someone up from their house, and if they weren’t quite ready, I don’t go inside to wait. And yell friendly banter from the comfort of their couch about how long they take to get ready
You're trying to go away from the pudge. You can't get overnight abs. Embrace it, shake your ass good. You might look a little funny, you'll definitely feel silly, and she might laugh a bit. And what better than to share that with the woman you love? Also definitely baby oil. I'm kind of picture you as Glamor Shot George Costanza.
Just read your update, and I am beyond thankful that your wife did the right thing by telling you it was over and kicking you out. I'm glad your parents are disgusted by you because you are an awful, pathetic excuse for a human being. I hope your ex-wife finds a man who is a trillion times better than you and loves her the way she deserves and loves her children the way they deserve, as well as being an amazing example of what a real man acts like, especially when no one is watching.
Sadly you are right. He just chose something of it over my graduation ceremony, where i wanted him to be a part of a tradition we have. I feel devastated. I was in an abusive relationship before and one of the things that happened was i was last in everything. I'm not in one rn but this triggers and breaks me. I don't want us to break up, but i also don't know if i can keep up with not being a priority
I’m really sorry you’re going through this. You don’t deserve it. It will take time, but one day you’ll feel freer for having cut off this person.
Yes people do change for the better. I grew up in the age where nearly everyone in my town used racist epitaphs like they breathe air. I used them as they seemed to be the normal thing to do as everyone else was using them. Then I found out about racism and it ended right there.
How you will deal with his family may be tough, and hopefully he'll not allow their ignorance and hatred to cause you problems.
He didn’t want to hurt you. He didn’t think it would make a difference. He f’d up and he knows it. FIL is equally a piece a crap imo
This friend of hers is sus. Going over to some other guys place when you two are having relationship issues… may possibly be innocent, sure, but it's also exactly what people who cheat do.
u/edenfea1, it looks like you're trying to post a throwaway submission. Your account is too young and/or your comment karma is too low.
The right way to do it is to create a brand new Reddit account that begins with ThrowRA.
Please create a new account that starts with ThrowRA in the username and try again. Please note that we will not make exceptions to this rule.
I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please contact the moderators of this subreddit if you have any questions or concerns.
Her behavior isn't suitable for public anyway. Will it be a child-free wedding or not? I know a lot of people prefer to have destination weddings be child-free so that may be a reason for her not to come anyway as a single mother. Regardless, not wanting to deal with the embarrassment and stress of having your SIL meltdown and have zero control over herself means she has no business at a wedding anyway.
I’d wait after the exam periods. She could jeopardize her whole life if she knows right now . As for sti I think waiting a month is ok.
Someone is going to be way more insightful than me and will have better advice for your specific situation, but I just want to ask one question: what exactly is the plan with hiding him from your family? It's your own future you're getting in the way of to protect your parents from your reality, which seems unfair to you and him really.
I wish you the best!
Sorry – I did not pay attention to the ages of the 'parents'. Excellent points from you all together.
When I mean by “opening up”, I mean to communicate with me about his thoughts and feelings. If he’s been feeling down I want him to communicate that with me, or about his days. He usually replied back with one word answers or maybe a couple words. He doesn’t talk about his feelings or thoughts a lot and I’ve been really patient, I haven’t nagged for an answer, I’ve been really affectionate to him, and listening to him talk about work or games.
How tf can you say this out of a private note that he wrote in what was clearly a moment of self analysis? Don't never ever have the slightest negative thought about who you care about? This does not mean that you wouldn't literally die for them.
If you take somebody's toughts out of context you will get hurt at some point.
The context is the point. The guy wrote the note for himself, somebody who knows the context perfectly, who can understand the true meaning of each word.
Actually the existence of such note is a clear sign of being mature, as he is dealing with everything he feels, with the perspective of spending the rest of his life with OP.
Being immature would be avoiding his own toughts and eventually having to face them in the future.
Idk for the first thing, and I just checked and she was in the hotel room on her laptop. Idk why they're doing this, and my sister was their first choice, but she couldn't get off work, so she couldn't go. I hope not, because her friends weren't really my type even before this whole framing thing.
I can’t imagine being in a situation where I’m picking someone up from their house, and if they weren’t quite ready, I don’t go inside to wait. And yell friendly banter from the comfort of their couch about how long they take to get ready
You're trying to go away from the pudge. You can't get overnight abs. Embrace it, shake your ass good. You might look a little funny, you'll definitely feel silly, and she might laugh a bit. And what better than to share that with the woman you love? Also definitely baby oil. I'm kind of picture you as Glamor Shot George Costanza.
Just read your update, and I am beyond thankful that your wife did the right thing by telling you it was over and kicking you out. I'm glad your parents are disgusted by you because you are an awful, pathetic excuse for a human being. I hope your ex-wife finds a man who is a trillion times better than you and loves her the way she deserves and loves her children the way they deserve, as well as being an amazing example of what a real man acts like, especially when no one is watching.
I just feel like she should have been able to come back to where I was sitting or continue to say no. IDK. Thanks for your advice though
Sadly you are right. He just chose something of it over my graduation ceremony, where i wanted him to be a part of a tradition we have. I feel devastated. I was in an abusive relationship before and one of the things that happened was i was last in everything. I'm not in one rn but this triggers and breaks me. I don't want us to break up, but i also don't know if i can keep up with not being a priority
I feel like he is wrong tho bc asking for a paternity test is literally accusing someone of sleeping with an entirely different man