I just spent the last 30min reading stories on the malicious compliance page and your post made me think of those stories.
Technically, you asked for the key back and you assumed he’d know that you also meant he wasn’t allowed in your home. He took your request literally.
It’s definitely an asshole move on his part. And while you’re absolutely pissed about it, I think you should just consider it a lesson learned and move on with your life.
Did he finally give you your key back? If so, just stop contact if that’s what you want. You don’t need to remain friends with him.
If you are trying to repair the friendship, you might have to let him ‘have this one,’ but just remember to be crystal clear in the future with your communication.
It's really difficult to see a relationship between a 23 year old and a 50 year old without immediately thinking the younger party is in it for monetary gain or status.
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So when I introduced my now husband to my parents, my dad did not like him. My DH has zero mechanical inclination and my dad had no idea how to bond with him.
We are ten years later now (six years married today) and my father LOVES my husband.
It just takes time and common ground. As long as your dad loves you and your bf treats you with love and respect and makes you happy, your dad will come around.
Based on your OP and follow up comment, it seems to me that you’re pretty rude.
Why couldn’t you have just said “okay, I’m here, let me grab her and feed her” or “could you hand her to me so I can feed her?” Or “excuse me”. Physically moving him out of your way wordlessly was rude.
In your example with your sister you say “I have a right to be loud” because you were excited. How about take your phone call in another room so you’re not disrupting him?
You just sound really dismissive of the fact that you’re the one being rude and he doesn’t like it.
Hello /u/Puzzleheaded_Pipe179, we've seen an influx of posts related to specific influencers and have made a decision to remove them.
If your post has to do with a significant other who's ascribing to a “high value/low value” standard, please note that while it's your partner's right to do this, it's just as much your right to opt out of such a relationship. Changing them is unlikely to succeed, and advice on past posts about this topic mirror this conclusion.
Ok so you knew she was “active” and you were ok w it. However she didn’t tell you that some of the guy friends in y’all’s group were included in the activities. They all knew, you didn’t.
She lied to you about this You had to find out from the guys They all thought you knew and were ok w those guys being included in the friend group Now probably think less of you because all this time you’ve been clueless & hanging out closely w men who have slept w her Now you’ll probably be thinking back were there any times things were off she might have been w some of them again More than likely those friends have already called and told her you know now giving her time to make up excuses. If she can hide something this big for 5 years what else can she lie about?
I would just have an issue w her giving me trickle truth in order to keep me. Because she knew if she told you she had slept w those guys in the friend group you’d either not stay w her or want to get different friends. Something she wasn’t going to do so she didn’t tell you. Since the guys all thought you knew she probably told them she told you and not to bring it up. So she’s probably lied to them too.
I agree w others that her past is her past. However concealing part of it like this took your choice to stay w her and this friend group or to leave. So staying in the relationship really wasn’t your choice because you didn’t know all the details. She made the decision to stay for you for her own gain.
It’d be tough because now when y’all are all together you’ll see the guys who slept w her looking at you and looking at her. It’ll be awkward. Not everyone is ok being around the men who slept w their SO. Especially a tight friend group. Now you have to sit there thinking about them all. Sit there knowing everyone knew but you. They probably all joked behind your back or all had inside jokes about it all. It’s just weird.
Is it worth breaking up over? Maybe. Maybe not. But the lying is what is at the core of this issue. 5 years she lied and had she had 5 years to come clean and she didn’t. So it’s something you have to decide
I would be outta there
I just spent the last 30min reading stories on the malicious compliance page and your post made me think of those stories.
Technically, you asked for the key back and you assumed he’d know that you also meant he wasn’t allowed in your home. He took your request literally.
It’s definitely an asshole move on his part. And while you’re absolutely pissed about it, I think you should just consider it a lesson learned and move on with your life.
Did he finally give you your key back? If so, just stop contact if that’s what you want. You don’t need to remain friends with him.
If you are trying to repair the friendship, you might have to let him ‘have this one,’ but just remember to be crystal clear in the future with your communication.
She thought about it, and decided not to do it. That's how it seems. Long distance sucks.
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It's really difficult to see a relationship between a 23 year old and a 50 year old without immediately thinking the younger party is in it for monetary gain or status.
What's your dad's finances lookin like exactly?
Hello /u/liv_mendez2122,
Your post was removed for the following reason(s):
Your title did not include at least two ages/genders or was not formatted correctly
Posts must:
include details about the involved parties including ages, genders, and length of relationship, and
request advice in real situations involving two or more people
We are enforcing the two rules listed above by making all titles use the following formatting:
[##X][##X], [## X][## X], or [##-X][##-X] where ## is the age and X is the gender (currently M, F, T, A, NB, FTM, MTF but more can be added). You can have more than two ages/genders listed, but you must have at least two. Here is an example:
[34NB][88-F] We are two people in an example post
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So when I introduced my now husband to my parents, my dad did not like him. My DH has zero mechanical inclination and my dad had no idea how to bond with him.
We are ten years later now (six years married today) and my father LOVES my husband.
It just takes time and common ground. As long as your dad loves you and your bf treats you with love and respect and makes you happy, your dad will come around.
You sound like the red flag here, not her lol
Based on your OP and follow up comment, it seems to me that you’re pretty rude.
Why couldn’t you have just said “okay, I’m here, let me grab her and feed her” or “could you hand her to me so I can feed her?” Or “excuse me”. Physically moving him out of your way wordlessly was rude.
In your example with your sister you say “I have a right to be loud” because you were excited. How about take your phone call in another room so you’re not disrupting him?
You just sound really dismissive of the fact that you’re the one being rude and he doesn’t like it.
I’m 25 and back in my day we called that a hobby or an interest.
Hello /u/Puzzleheaded_Pipe179, we've seen an influx of posts related to specific influencers and have made a decision to remove them.
If your post has to do with a significant other who's ascribing to a “high value/low value” standard, please note that while it's your partner's right to do this, it's just as much your right to opt out of such a relationship. Changing them is unlikely to succeed, and advice on past posts about this topic mirror this conclusion.
Thanks,
-Relationship Advice mod team
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Ok so you knew she was “active” and you were ok w it. However she didn’t tell you that some of the guy friends in y’all’s group were included in the activities. They all knew, you didn’t.
She lied to you about this You had to find out from the guys They all thought you knew and were ok w those guys being included in the friend group Now probably think less of you because all this time you’ve been clueless & hanging out closely w men who have slept w her Now you’ll probably be thinking back were there any times things were off she might have been w some of them again More than likely those friends have already called and told her you know now giving her time to make up excuses. If she can hide something this big for 5 years what else can she lie about?
I would just have an issue w her giving me trickle truth in order to keep me. Because she knew if she told you she had slept w those guys in the friend group you’d either not stay w her or want to get different friends. Something she wasn’t going to do so she didn’t tell you. Since the guys all thought you knew she probably told them she told you and not to bring it up. So she’s probably lied to them too.
I agree w others that her past is her past. However concealing part of it like this took your choice to stay w her and this friend group or to leave. So staying in the relationship really wasn’t your choice because you didn’t know all the details. She made the decision to stay for you for her own gain.
It’d be tough because now when y’all are all together you’ll see the guys who slept w her looking at you and looking at her. It’ll be awkward. Not everyone is ok being around the men who slept w their SO. Especially a tight friend group. Now you have to sit there thinking about them all. Sit there knowing everyone knew but you. They probably all joked behind your back or all had inside jokes about it all. It’s just weird.
Is it worth breaking up over? Maybe. Maybe not. But the lying is what is at the core of this issue. 5 years she lied and had she had 5 years to come clean and she didn’t. So it’s something you have to decide