Before you cheated, you should have ended it. Do her a huge favor and just have the talk already. You have hurt her a lot by now by cheating on her even if she doesn't know. You are a coward.
Me and the guy I’ve been dating for the last few months cooked two meals together last Sunday. There were long stretches of time that we didn’t speak where he was chopping vegetables or washing dishes and I was seasoning chicken and starting pots. In my mind I wondered if it was weird that we weren’t speaking. Shouldn’t we be unable to stop gabbing? And then I realized it was kind of nice that we could do something simple together that both of us would normally be doing alone and still be comfortable coexisting quietly in that space. I think I even laughed and mentioned how nice it was to cook with someone and not have it be a bunch of bumping into each other and fussing, the way my mom used to do if anyone was in the kitchen while she was cooking.
Sometimes we just lie in bed together in silence. Or in the car heading somewhere. Again, at first it made me nervous… maybe I’m boring? But then I realized-it was a relief to be cuddled up with someone or going somewhere together, not doing anything but simply enjoying the peace of the moment
Yeah, I failed to mention he had trust issues with his ex. Obviously I know that has affected his judgement on this. I want to help him and be supportive but I agree boundaries are in order.
Your post was removed for the following reason(s):
Your title did not include at least two ages/genders or was not formatted correctly
Posts must:
include details about the involved parties including ages, genders, and length of relationship, and
request advice in real situations involving two or more people
We are enforcing the two rules listed above by making all titles use the following formatting:
[##X][##X], [## X][## X], or [##-X][##-X] where ## is the age and X is the gender (currently M, F, T, A, NB, FTM, MTF but more can be added). You can have more than two ages/genders listed, but you must have at least two. Here is an example:
First, your boundaries are not dumb. I think they're reasonable. He definitely wants to go to a topless bar because he wants to see tits. And he is gaslighting you.
Second, I am from Southern California. No, the women do NOT walk around topless. I have no idea where he got that idea. That's just utter bs.
I was very confused when he said his friends said to talk to me. I think I got hung up on that, like they approved of the idea, but I was just so in shock I didn’t ask him exactly what he said to them. I’m very torn, but knowing my instinct to say no was not selfish helpful. Thanks for responding.
I was in my 40's before I finally accepted my partner was too emotionally broken (childhood) to ever change
I was a middle aged man just about to get some financial freedom and kids moving on into their own lives
My partner still was the same as when I met them at 17
No effort, no enthusiasm, no good word to say about anyone, revelled in trashing people with their screwed up family, refused to work a full time job ever
Loads of terrible impulsive behaviour that always came back even if years since the last one, it is hard wired into them
I've not looked back from when I threw in the towel, my ex still is the same part time min wage silent assassin, now just living off the state instead of me
In between that, the only change is my kid hears all the hate now, as my life is stress free
Ask yourself if you ever see her changing, the answer to that will answer what you do
I couldn’t be bothered with this. You did nothing wrong by worrying about where your marriage might end up and he’s beating you with it like a cudgel. You get to decide who you are with and when. He’s sounds exhausting, disrespectful and dominating. You are allowed your own thoughts.
If you’re that bothered by your husband looking at other women on the internet then you should get a divorce and just accept that you’ll never get remarried because you’re never going to find a man that is not going to look at other women on the internet. The best you’ll get is someone who lies to your face about it and is better at covering his tracks.
They're not even exclusive yet
Before you cheated, you should have ended it. Do her a huge favor and just have the talk already. You have hurt her a lot by now by cheating on her even if she doesn't know. You are a coward.
Ffs. What principle is that?
Me and the guy I’ve been dating for the last few months cooked two meals together last Sunday. There were long stretches of time that we didn’t speak where he was chopping vegetables or washing dishes and I was seasoning chicken and starting pots. In my mind I wondered if it was weird that we weren’t speaking. Shouldn’t we be unable to stop gabbing? And then I realized it was kind of nice that we could do something simple together that both of us would normally be doing alone and still be comfortable coexisting quietly in that space. I think I even laughed and mentioned how nice it was to cook with someone and not have it be a bunch of bumping into each other and fussing, the way my mom used to do if anyone was in the kitchen while she was cooking.
Sometimes we just lie in bed together in silence. Or in the car heading somewhere. Again, at first it made me nervous… maybe I’m boring? But then I realized-it was a relief to be cuddled up with someone or going somewhere together, not doing anything but simply enjoying the peace of the moment
Yeah, I failed to mention he had trust issues with his ex. Obviously I know that has affected his judgement on this. I want to help him and be supportive but I agree boundaries are in order.
Hello /u/Forgivencharm,
Your post was removed for the following reason(s):
Your title did not include at least two ages/genders or was not formatted correctly
Posts must:
include details about the involved parties including ages, genders, and length of relationship, and
request advice in real situations involving two or more people
We are enforcing the two rules listed above by making all titles use the following formatting:
[##X][##X], [## X][## X], or [##-X][##-X] where ## is the age and X is the gender (currently M, F, T, A, NB, FTM, MTF but more can be added). You can have more than two ages/genders listed, but you must have at least two. Here is an example:
[34NB][88-F] We are two people in an example post
Please resubmit with a corrected title.
I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please contact the moderators of this subreddit if you have any questions or concerns.
Oh. My. God.
First, your boundaries are not dumb. I think they're reasonable. He definitely wants to go to a topless bar because he wants to see tits. And he is gaslighting you.
Second, I am from Southern California. No, the women do NOT walk around topless. I have no idea where he got that idea. That's just utter bs.
Your husband doesn't respect you.
Its very hot because hes never hit me but somehow I'm so often living in fear
in the bedroom, under the bed, or in a closet or drawer. not for every guest or visitor to see.
** Ho
He's an idiot then
The stupid lord thing lol is “legit” insofar as it’s a real thing
Don't knock that
I'm Irish and I can tell you that I can print off a nice piece of paper making him a lord of a square inch of my back garden*
*colour coats extra
Jesus Christ no way ppl really do thst
I was very confused when he said his friends said to talk to me. I think I got hung up on that, like they approved of the idea, but I was just so in shock I didn’t ask him exactly what he said to them. I’m very torn, but knowing my instinct to say no was not selfish helpful. Thanks for responding.
You boyfriend doesn't trust you and violated your privacy. Why would you stay with someone who would do such a thing?
Some people stay who they are forever
I was in my 40's before I finally accepted my partner was too emotionally broken (childhood) to ever change
I was a middle aged man just about to get some financial freedom and kids moving on into their own lives
My partner still was the same as when I met them at 17
No effort, no enthusiasm, no good word to say about anyone, revelled in trashing people with their screwed up family, refused to work a full time job ever
Loads of terrible impulsive behaviour that always came back even if years since the last one, it is hard wired into them
I've not looked back from when I threw in the towel, my ex still is the same part time min wage silent assassin, now just living off the state instead of me
In between that, the only change is my kid hears all the hate now, as my life is stress free
Ask yourself if you ever see her changing, the answer to that will answer what you do
I couldn’t be bothered with this. You did nothing wrong by worrying about where your marriage might end up and he’s beating you with it like a cudgel. You get to decide who you are with and when. He’s sounds exhausting, disrespectful and dominating. You are allowed your own thoughts.
If you’re that bothered by your husband looking at other women on the internet then you should get a divorce and just accept that you’ll never get remarried because you’re never going to find a man that is not going to look at other women on the internet. The best you’ll get is someone who lies to your face about it and is better at covering his tracks.