It depends very much on your ages and stage of life. A 7 year age gap isn't too big a deal when it's a 28 year old dating a 35 year old, but if it's a 25 year old with an 18 year old the 25 year old have a lot of life experience that the 18 year old most likely does not, and they would be at a different stage of life (one just finished high school, the other has possibly finished university and is starting a career).
Plus, when one half of the couple has only just entered adulthood and the other is much older, there is the possibility of grooming (if they knew each other while the younger person was a child), abusive/controlling behaviour, etc. If someone is 30+ and feels that their ideal partner is only 20, that's often because no one with a bit of life and relationship experience will put up with them.
Sounds like he already does these things. Maybe not that exact frequency. She screwed up not going to therapy. Thats on her. And fuck no he shouldn’t be finding her grown ass a job after she lost it being a brat. What?!
You really need to think long and nude about your relationship and future. You have a severely autistic son and a soon to be step son who is completely out of control. It seems things are not getting better but worse. The stress of both boys has a high chance of breaking down your marriage. Love isn’t enough for a lasting relationship and you really need to think about what your future will look like with both boys. I’m in the mental health field and your son will likely get worse, I’m not saying that to be mean just to point out that if you have someone in the home instigating and triggering episodes and break downs it’s not good. Your fiancés prediction that her son will land in legal trouble sounds about right at this time. Obviously I don’t know the whole story but I would have him re-evaluated by a different doctor. I feel there is more going on and they have a misdiagnosis. Please think about your son and his safety. Children like your son are extremely vulnerable in society and it seems so in his own home.
Without knowing how long you've been together it's hot to say whether you should be so upset by this. It obviously takes years to get to know someone well enough to feel confident that your relationship will last forever. Also, he's 30 so he's very aware that you at 24 still have a lot of developmental changes to go through before you become the final *you*. Seems he just being cautious, as you should be when contemplating things like marriage. If you really think about it, it's probably good news that he's thinking about it. It means his mind to open to it and he's currently doing the mental/emotional work necessary to determine whether he thinks you're “the one”. Maybe just don't mention it again.
It depends very much on your ages and stage of life. A 7 year age gap isn't too big a deal when it's a 28 year old dating a 35 year old, but if it's a 25 year old with an 18 year old the 25 year old have a lot of life experience that the 18 year old most likely does not, and they would be at a different stage of life (one just finished high school, the other has possibly finished university and is starting a career).
Plus, when one half of the couple has only just entered adulthood and the other is much older, there is the possibility of grooming (if they knew each other while the younger person was a child), abusive/controlling behaviour, etc. If someone is 30+ and feels that their ideal partner is only 20, that's often because no one with a bit of life and relationship experience will put up with them.
Sounds like he already does these things. Maybe not that exact frequency. She screwed up not going to therapy. Thats on her. And fuck no he shouldn’t be finding her grown ass a job after she lost it being a brat. What?!
That's so adorable
Curious- what expectations did you have from him in the past that he was not meeting?
I’m going to at the very least try and set a distance from him now, I’m just in shock. So many months..
You really need to think long and nude about your relationship and future. You have a severely autistic son and a soon to be step son who is completely out of control. It seems things are not getting better but worse. The stress of both boys has a high chance of breaking down your marriage. Love isn’t enough for a lasting relationship and you really need to think about what your future will look like with both boys. I’m in the mental health field and your son will likely get worse, I’m not saying that to be mean just to point out that if you have someone in the home instigating and triggering episodes and break downs it’s not good. Your fiancés prediction that her son will land in legal trouble sounds about right at this time. Obviously I don’t know the whole story but I would have him re-evaluated by a different doctor. I feel there is more going on and they have a misdiagnosis. Please think about your son and his safety. Children like your son are extremely vulnerable in society and it seems so in his own home.
Without knowing how long you've been together it's hot to say whether you should be so upset by this. It obviously takes years to get to know someone well enough to feel confident that your relationship will last forever. Also, he's 30 so he's very aware that you at 24 still have a lot of developmental changes to go through before you become the final *you*. Seems he just being cautious, as you should be when contemplating things like marriage. If you really think about it, it's probably good news that he's thinking about it. It means his mind to open to it and he's currently doing the mental/emotional work necessary to determine whether he thinks you're “the one”. Maybe just don't mention it again.