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SQUIRT [Multi Goal]
Date: October 2, 2022
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You did the right thing, she sounds like a nightmare.
Yes. Please hold off this year, and spend 2023 getting to know each other better.
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Especially if he thinks he should have stayed with her. That screams he's guilty of something
Trust is earned. Not given. Trust is an integral part of a healthy relationship but if you freely trust someone you've only dated 4 months then you're setting yourself up for failure. The question isn't whether she can tell her bf who he can live with. The question is if this is a deal breaker and whether she should stay with him if he goes through with it.
Being secure in your relationship does not equate to being comfortable with any choices your significant other makes.
YTA your affair blew up his family, and devastated his mother. It’s a 100% his business. Of course he doesn’t want your AP at his wedding. You are brushing off so much of your behaviour, and doesn’t sound like you’ve accepted any responsibility for the state of your relationship with your son, when the breakdown of the relationship was completely your fault. You were are disgrace as a husband and a sorry excuse for a father. He’s probably so disappoint knowing his father is such a coward that he cheated on his wife instead of being a man and ending the relationship. Your disgusting.
Have you heard of pretending? We all learned how to do it early in life.
When you date you don't base your calls on what is proven. You date based on what ends up being most likely the case more often than not. Don't gamble with your time and heart when the odds make it usually a bad bet in such guesses. Don't try for surprise lucky payouts.
Oh boooy. Naked as it may be but there are people out there who will treat you thousands times better.
Don’t lower yourself just to be treated like a normal human being. Also i get the fp thing, have been there and done that. It was goddamn ugly.
How I got over that was by working on my self. I still have allot of work to do. Listen to that voice in your head. Don’t settle until all boxes are checked.
Have straight up strong boundaries.
Eg. If he checks all boxes except one or two thats a naked no. For normal people letting go of few may not be an issue but for us it is.
Boundaries boundaries boundaries.
Whoever crosses them is not worth our time. It’s nice to be treated the way he treats you but you know this is not the desirable situation for you. So don’t settle.
Don’t give into your personality disorder please don’t. It will ruin you as it did for me and that damage is harder to recover from.
What you are doing right now is a form of self harm. Study your personality disorder and understand your shortcomings. Download marsha linehan’s DBT workbook and start on it.
What you need is understanding and you are not getting it. Therefore you will not recover with that person by your side. They will always bring you down.
his major has nothing to do with teaching, all the other things he had to do did, it was pretty much his only option, we come from a very small town
Thank you so much for saying this!! I have been following these posts for some time, and frankly this woman continues to show that she isn’t a safe person to have around his older son.
She’s asking for now, but he cannot force her to lower contact when she’s expressly seeking it out.
I am so happy that you seem to have a happy life, but so sad you were ever put in the situations you were. Not all children in situation like this are able to gain insight and be their authentic selves after experiencing interfamilial bigotry.
Again very odd, very judgemental and I question the happiness of a person who wishes people learn lessons on morals they dont agree with by being hurt. But you do you bro.
Brilliant comment! You absolutely nailed it! This is exactly what went down and this poor bugger couldn't see it because of those rose coloured glasses he was wearing. I truly hope he sees her for who she is and what she did to him, and ghosts her foul a**, now.
If she's saying sorry then maybe she means it and it can just be put down as a mistake. At the risk of sounding patronising (which I'm not trying to be), she's young and it might have just been an error in judgement that she won't want to do again. If you reckon she's being sincere in her apology then that might be enough.