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  1. Love, there was no “honeymoon phase” here. Just a 14 years old edge lord stuck in the body of a 25 years old and a woman who has not figured out if the man is a sociopath or just a “normal” asshole ,and thinks she need to find out because that clearly will make this bullshit okay if he has a diagnostic.

  2. Oh, I know I deserve the whole thing! lol It's not that I think I don't deserve it though, more so that I don't wish to risk losing what I have now. Regardless of what I mean to him, he means a great deal to me. And I don't want to jeopardize that if I'm not confident that he feels the same way back.

    I hear that a lot- that the notion of somebody being “out of your league” is a falsehood. I guess I just don't subscribe to that school of thought. Like attracts like. And though that's not with 100% certainly, it is more likely than not. He's got a successful career, his work is known all over the world, he travels all over the world doing art show and exhibitions, he's good looking, he's fit/takes care of himself… I couldn't be more different. I'm fat (literally, I am 300+ pounds), ugly- I am a woman with a full-grown beard and mustache; I shave every morning but still have permanent 5 o'clock shadow because the hair is so dark. I don't have my life together… at all. I am emotionally immature and unstable. I have no career. Just a lowly job where I feel miserable, unhappy, unappreciated, and I'm giving serious thoughts to leaving. I can barely afford to even pay rent, I have no savings of any kind. I am not the kind of person any man of sane mind would be proud to have on his arm, or flashing around town. I quite literally have nothing to offer.

    He is absolutely, 100%, without question, out of my league, lol I really doo appreciate your kindness on that though. Perhaps I do sell myself short in some ways, but I am a realist. People have standards and I fall far short of what any rational-minded person would or should accept for themselves.

    As for the comment about how older men feel they are perceived… I find it interesting you mentioned that, and think I will look into it more, thank you for bringing it up. I have a great interest in all things psychology, especially what drives us, and how we view ourselves, and would like to know more about this. I know that for myself, sex doesn't matter so much. I'm more interested in a person's (his) mind, and heart. Men, however, are less driven emotionally and more sexually, physically. And I simply don't have that physical attractiveness to offer.

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